November 2005 - I'VE just made a man bleed. It was in self defence. He was coming at me with a knife, you see.
True, I knew it was a fake knife - the same one which, seconds earlier, I had been holding to his throat - but these things happen when you're learning a new self defence technique.
And Krav Maga is certainly a full-on technique. It's the latest self defence craze to reach Edinburgh after taking off around the world, and is popular with celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie.
Famously used to train Israeli soldiers ahead of their Six Day War victory over Egypt in 1967, Krav Maga stands out from the myriad of martial arts by virtue of the fact that it is based on people's instinctive responses in real situations.
All you are doing is reacting the way you would naturally if someone attacked you, and then being taught to 'fine tune' those reactions. So there are no rules, and no years spent learning fancy moves or earning an array of different coloured belts.
Literally meaning 'contact combat', Krav Maga brings you up very close and personal with your fellow course-mates as you take turns to throttle, knife and generally batter the hell out of each other. That said, safety is taken seriously, hence the fake knives and the use of punch bags.
But we are literally choking each other, albeit only for a split second, and it is easy to see why groin guards - for women as well as men - are recommended. Thimbles, though, are not, but then I think I am the only one to inflict injury with a thumbnail.
Growing in popularity fast, in Edinburgh alone there are currently 90 people on a waiting list for courses, which Krav Maga Scotland is launching across the country.
Walking into a room at the back of the Royal Commonwealth Pool I feel apprehensive. One wall is lined with silent, serious-looking people, mostly men. Opposite them on a table is a collection of fake knives and guns, groin guards and a row of black punchbags.
In between it all is class instructor Simon Leila. He gives a quick talk about its history and explains that we will learn the same techniques that are used by the SAS and the FBI, but that while their endgames are killing or apprehending an attacker, ours is simply to "get home and have a cup of tea".
We start with what he calls "crowd". The scenario is that we can see our loved one is about to be attacked on the far side of a crowded room and we have to get to them fast before they get hurt.
"If you are punching people to get through, you won't make it," Simon says. So we weave purposefully past each other, elbows knocking but trying not to bash into each other too hard.
Next, we act out our response to a changing scenario where there is another attacker between us and our loved one who is being attacked. We attack our "assailant" - in reality, just a punchbag - which we take in turns to hold up for each other.
As I strike the bag repeatedly as shown by Simon with open palms, hammer fists, elbows and knees, I start to really enjoy myself.
Like everyone else, though, I'm acutely conscious of not actually wanting to hurt anyone, honest! There is laughter and so many muttered apologies around the room that Simon has to tell us to resist the urge to say 'Sorry, Mr Mugger'.
Things escalate when we are shown how to choke each other. Simon demonstrates on us all in turn by asking us to sing, before pressing our necks briefly until we let out a strangled sound.
The zombie - where we take turns to be choked by three or four others in quick succession coming from all sides - is designed to imitate the reality of a gang attack, and to heighten your reactions.
Some of the exercises might sound extreme, and although no-one has walked out of any of his courses so far Simon admits that he would not be surprised if someone does one day. "There is a fine line between thinking you should be able to defend yourself and actually knowing the reality of that."
He is adamant that it is crucial to make the course "as realistic as possible, with safety in mind of course. I will choke you, so you know what it feels like."
One of the few other women on the course gives me her verdict. Jane Moore, 32, an Edinburgh GP, says: "It's great fun although I'm absolutely shattered.
"I have never been attacked at work but it might happen. I feel more confident now and hope I'd draw on this if I ever need to defend myself."
• A five-hour introductory course in Krav Maga costs £60. For more information, visit www.kravmagascotland.co.uk , call Simon Leila on 07050 199710 or send an email to info@kravmagascotland.co.uk
